So, if you’ve spent much time on this blog, you know that the issue of too many choices tends to come up from time to time. (Like, daily.) As do the kind of offhand musings that naturally follow a riff on the perils of option overload: like, oh, it would be so much easier if I didn’t have these options, or, wow, wouldn’t it be great if someone else could just decide for me? Despite the fact that I believe, if it came right down to it, we really wouldn’t trade all the options we have, I don’t begrudge anyone the fantasy. And, you know, I relate. But this–wellll friends, just imagine…
Long story short: a blog called IvyGate got its hands on six pages of fashion guidelines for Cornell sorority’s Pi Phi’s upcoming rush. Among the directives: No muffin tops! We love a boyfriend blazer! And, my personal fave, If you’re wearing cheapo shoes, make sure they don’t look it. Heaven forbid.
I should admit that I have exactly zero experience with sororities–and that I do not come without some preconceived notions. But, rather than spewing some easy snark, I wonder if maybe the limiting of choice is actually part of a sorority’s appeal? I mean, if 3/4 of your closet is off the menu, that’s gotta make getting dressed easier, right? So, what about all the other stuff? And what if there was a grown-up version that offered a list of rules regarding everything from what kind of job to get to what kind of car to buy to what kind of person to sleep with? Or maybe something not quite so formal–maybe something more like aligning ourselves with a certain crowd, a crowd with persnickety tastes? …an iconic self‘s persnickety tastes, perhaps? A stringent set of rules, no matter how like totally ridic, will–this much is certain–make decisions easier. The question is: would you rush?
And FYI, here, in their entirety, are the rules:
CLOTHING.
Round I & II: “Casual chic”
Bottoms:
Yes:
- Medium-to-dark or black skinny or straight jeans
- Dark skinny or straight cords
- “Denim-legging” is appropriate as long as it’s done right: aka, not from American Apparel and worn with chic, cool chunky boots over them and a longer top. NO camel toe.
No:
- Super “Flared leg” pants
- Cropped pants. Ugh.
- Bleached/very light or TORN jeans I don’t care if they’re in style.
- Khakis
- Leggings worn as pants
- Muffin tops or extreme low rise!!
Tops:
Yes:
- Blouses: flowy, pretty material.
- Sweaters or other long-sleeved shirts, V or Crew.
- Cardigans (with longer tank top under preferably)
- Blazers: Yes, please! I love a casual top with a cool boyfriend blazer over it
No:
- Summer pattern/colors, too tight or too short shirts or blouses!
- Low-cut
- Sleeveless
- Tank tops
- Frumpy
- Preferably no short sleeves– recommended: full coverage aka elbow length, 3/4 length, long, thin layers.
Shoes:
Yes:
- Nice flats: Tory Burch, etc. More evening-ish, understated. Patent leather good.
- Heels: mid-height. This round is still “casual”, so no sky-high hooker heels! I’m thinking mid-height Mary Jane heels, or mid-height chunky kate spade, etc.
- Boots: love. Chunky or simple/elegant, heel on the lower side to flat. Worn OVER pants.
No:
- Open-toed!
- WHITE
- Strappy
- High-heeled/going out boots.
- If you’re wearing cheapo shoes, make sure they don’t look it.
**And, a call to action: I spent an obscene amount of time scouring the Internet, desperately seeking a clip of the vintage SNL “Delta Delta Delta” girls. Came up with nothin’! Free book for the first to help me help me help me.
I am horrified by the whole fashion look these guidelines suggest…Who dresses like this??? Sheesh. Not to mention the whole Stepford-wife-in-training image this conjures up. Wow, this is just all wrong…wrong, wrong, wrong. Funny tho’…very funny.
I think babs and I see quite a few “Nice flats: Tory Burch, etc. More evening-ish, understated. Patent leather good.” daily… at least when reading this I realized what I have been seeing.
poor girls. so young and so boring.