The ultimate choice, right? Passion or paycheck. But are the two always mutually exclusive? Can one, eventually, enable the other?
Is sub-par sometimes a means to an end?
I came across this interesting post by a twentysomething web designer from Portland, Ore., who laments her life in a corporate cubicle, doing a job she kinda hates. Sound familiar? But she lets herself off the hook for doing something she doesn’t love…while she paves the way for something she does.
She writes:
There are things about my job that I do care about. I care about performing well enough that I maintain the respect of my coworkers. I certainly care about performing well enough to keep my job. I care about the fact that this is the entry level experience I need to progress in my field. Do I care about the work that I do? Um…
But I do care about some parts of my work. I love coding. But I want more. I want to do more design, be more involved in the creative process, have greater control over the product I turn out. And there are other things I’m interested in, too. I’m interested in marketing and branding and social media. I’m interested in making things, doing things that help people on a very personal level, that helps to build community (local, global, whatever), that does something to add meaning or value to someone’s life. My job doesn’t and will never provide that, and that’s not to say there’s something wrong with my job, but rather, that because my job doesn’t really do what I’m interested in, it’s probably not the best fit for me.
Knowing this, I think it’s okay for me to stop beating myself up over the fact that I’m not feeling fulfilled by my job or satisfied by the kind of work I’m doing. It’s okay not to care. That doesn’t mean I get a license to blow off my work or be a slacker. What it does mean is that I can stop investing so much in my work emotionally, that I can stop being upset because I’m not a “perfect” employee. I’m not meant to be perfect in this position. It’s not what I’m cut out to do, and I can’t make myself better suited for the work any more than I can make my job what I want it to be.
Intriguing perspective. Whether or not it makes dealing with life decisions any easier — no clue. But realizing that you can learn from not-quite-perfect may give us the patience to make peace the buffet of choices out there. As Po Bronson writes in What Should I Do With My Life?:
“Finding what we believe in and what we can do about it is one of life’s great dramas… Don’t cling to a single scenario, allow yourself many paths to the same destination. Give it a lifetime to pay off. Things you work hardest for are the things you will most treasure.”
Another way of looking at it, in the words of somebody’s mother: “Sometimes you have to kiss a bunch of frogs.”
I feel like I have dealt with this issue my entire life, just on a slightly different level. What if you don’t have a passion? It always seems to come up: What would you do if time, money and experience didn’t matter, how would you spend your time? Honestly, I have no idea. None. I probably wouldn’t do much of anything. Maybe travel, but where? I am even in a pickle there, love to visit places HATE to fly. After talking with several people over the course of many years I have found that many are in the same boat. They don’t have a passion and if they do it certainly isn’t what they are being paid for.
When I did my corporate job for 10 years, I did it well (I have the annual reviews to back that up), but it wasn’t what I lived for. I worked to live, not lived to work. My real life was always on the verge of something else. The verge of what? who knows.
I was talking with a friend this weekend who basically thought it was pointless to work in a job that wasn’t emotionally, spiritually, and creatively fullfilling. I thought good for her, but what about everyone else? I kept thinking, this is a 1st world problem and really doesn’t apply to much of the world. Most people don’t care if they are living their passion or at least working toward their passion. They care if they have a roof over their head and food on the table. Even people in the US, many just work to provide for their familes. After all, work is called work for a reason. Who says it has to so damn fulfilling.
Oprah is always promoting the live your best life mantra, but that is a lot of pressure. It may be cliche to mention her, but at the same time she is incredibly powerful and reaches millions around the world everyday. Back to the pressure, it is a lot. Everytime I see her I feel quilty for not saving the world one child at a time, or going to the shelter to get a rescue dog. Enough with the pressure already. Maybe just getting through the day is enough. The fact that at the end of the day my family is happy and healthy is enough for me. And if I missing finding my passion today, that is okay.
Women have it so hard, we are expected to do it all. Take care of our families and be incredibly successful in our careers. We are supposed to have it all, when in reality that is impossible. You can’t have everything at the same time. Even a statement like that is pretty loaded. Since you can’t have it all at once, you are still supposed to have it at some point. Why? Why do you have to do it all? Maybe if we just slowed down a bit, did one thing at a time, we could find that missing passion. And if we don’t find it? Who cares, enjoy the ride anyway.
[…] the pressure of the passion versus paycheck dilemma: “I feel like I have dealt with this issue my entire life, just on a slightly different […]
Very intriguing comment Joanna, and it really resonates with me. My life thus far (I’m now 30) has been a pursuit of passion, and it’s a career/pursuit that provides hardly any cash or status, but is deeply meaningful to both myself and the people I work with. I often feel (very) guilty for pursuing it, since I feel like I’m not the person that society wants me to be (ie house, wife, security, kids, mortgage) – it’s like this is what I enjoy, but I feel stigmatized for doing what I enjoy. This has been hard for me to accept.