This is a fabulous time of year for me, as I have the distinct pleasure of covering the Santa Barbara International Film Festival tributes—and the VIP after parties—for the local paper. (Tough job, I know.) Friday night brought SAG Award Winner and Academy Award Nominee Viola Davis to town, and the woman is a force! I’m kind of in love with her, actually—Girl Crush to the Nth degree. Her intelligence, candor, and wit are impressive enough, but one of the things that’s most striking about her is how beautiful she is—striking because that’s a facet of herself she’s often had to check at the door. And that’s a topic she wasn’t afraid to broach.
“As a woman of color,” she said, speaking of her sexuality and the auditioning process, “it’s like it’s too much to bring it.” Intelligent, articulate, emotive, strong: okay. But add even a hint of womanliness to that mix, and she becomes dangerous—or at least undesirable to a casting agent. (But why? Is the assumption that a complex, female character who is also attractive would be too much for the moviegoing public to reconcile?)
In some ways, I think, that message is out there for all of us to absorb, “Tread carefully, lady. Don’t be too much.”
Obviously auditioning for a role is one thing, and real life is another. But there’s something pretty relatable in that sentiment, doncha think? If you’re smart, successful, and funny, leave your sexy at the door, please. Be smart, but don’t be too smart. Too successful. Too funny. Too sexy. And if, god forbid, you are packin’ that much ammo, for god’s sake, play it down! Self-deprication is your friend. Don’t stand out too much.
It’s such a fine line, and such a mixed message, too. On the one hand, we’re expected to be perfect, to do it all, and all while looking perfect, being successful, whipping up Top Chef-caliber, organic meals, having epic sex, and meditating for twenty minutes a day. But on the other, perfection arouses suspicion. We see a woman who looks too good, who’s got it too good, who does it too good, and we look at her sideways.
Viola spoke of her very humble upbringing on Friday night, and, when she snagged the SAG on Sunday, she gave a shout out to the students of her small alma mater, imploring them to dream big. I’m taking that message to heart, too, and my big dream is this: that one day we won’t need to worry about being too much.
While I’m sure many women can relate to Ms. Davis’ comments and your own assessment about the fear of being “too much” I wonder if she intended to convey something slightly different than what you’ve taken away from the exchange.
You quoted her as starting the comment by remarking, “As a woman of color” and I think that this is significant. There’s a rich and interesting history surrounding the sexuality (real or imagined) of women of color, particularly African-American women. There is a long-standing stereotype of Black women as hyper-sexualized “jezebels” who often used their sexuality to manipulate men, especially White men. Perhaps Ms. Davis was accutely aware of this stereotype and felt that there was no way she could add that into her auditions without crossing a line that would somehow establish her as “other” or diminish her other strengths. I think many women struggle about how to share their femininity with others in a professional interaction, but there may be subtle layers of difference for Black women.
Thank you for sharing this piece with us.
Love it. Have totally felt this – having to check either my brains or body or humor at the door, not wanting to intimidate or overwhelm. But it should be okay to be everything that is all of me, right?
Right.